“The Picture of Dorian Gray” by Oscar Wilde. Look at this cover! It’s like someone went to a 19th-century wallpaper store and said, “Give me the most ornate, over-the-top design you’ve got!”

We’ve got this red guy in the middle, looking all dapper and smug. Is he Dorian? Who knows? The title is in this gothic font that screams, “Look at me! I’m fancy and sophisticated!” But really, it just makes you squint to read it.

And the colors, oh the colors! Blue and gold with a splash of red. It’s like someone thought, “Let’s make it as visually noisy as possible!” This is supposed to be a classic, right? But the cover looks like it’s trying way too hard to impress. Just like Oscar Wilde himself—always the dandy, always the showman.

So, what’s the deal? Are we reading a novel or decorating a Victorian sitting room?