“The Foot Book.” Dr. Seuss, huh? The guy who brought us “The Cat in the Hat” and “Green Eggs and Ham.” Now he’s got a book about feet. What’s next? “The Nose Book”?

Look at this character on the cover. What is he, some kind of mutant kangaroo? He’s got this big, goofy grin like he just won the lottery. I gotta say, though, only Dr. Seuss could draw a creature like that and get away with it. If I drew that, people would think I was nuts.

And what’s with the title? “The Foot Book.” Real original, Doc. You got a PhD in imagination and this is what you come up with? Feet. Next thing you know, he’ll write “The Toenail Chronicle.” It’s “Dr. Seuss’s Wacky Book of Opposites,” so I guess we’re gonna learn that left is opposite of right. Groundbreaking stuff here.

I can’t knock the guy too much; he’s got more hits than a mob boss. But come on, Seuss. This is scraping the bottom of the barrel, isn’t it? I bet this guy’s next book will be “The Hair Book” – just in time for all the bald guys like me.

But hey, if your kid is into feet and opposites, this book’s a real winner. And if you’re a parent, it’s a great excuse to put your feet up for a while. You know, ‘cause the book’s about feet.